Page 5 - Park Sae Rom Tov-Only I was a told
P. 5
Only I was not told.
In due time, everyone finds out one’s partner and gets mar- made me depressed. Without any reason, I just cried and my
ried. In such wise, I fell in love and naturally had a baby. battered self-regard left me alone inside the house. One day, I
didn’t say a word.
A duty of humankind. Breeding.
A hope out of the long cave of agony was, ironically, my baby.
I gave up my job and concentrated only on prenatal education.
I became the protagonist of the world. The sunlight, air, snow, As he started to crawl and walk, I found happiness. Above all,
and all the things existed for me. As I podded up, I found a I could see myself in his eyes. As soon as I realized that my
fish in a fish tank in my house. In the small space, they find a baby was looking at the world through me, I had to abandon my
partner and breed cub, but I did not realize that it was an onset selfishness which made me worry about only myself. I taught
of happiness and suffering at the same time. 10 months inside him the world, and the sound of happy laughter brought me
the house… I was awaiting delivery just looking out of window. the best happiness of the world.
I thought everything will be lightened after delivery.
My baby’s fingers are tiny, the body is a bit bigger than adult’s
Since ToV was brought home after birth, I have never experi- hand, and his legs are as big as my forearm. His head is as small
enced a deep sleep until today. as a mini ball, and the eyes are like the most beautiful glass
beads of the world. I am becoming a mom to protect them.
I felt a big burden from the fact that a tender and small life is Even though I am not perfect, I am growing that way with my
looking only at me. I had thought I would have been happy as baby. I sometimes think that my baby might more perfect than
the children and parents on TV. I was so naïve that I was de- me.
ceived by the media that shows only a piece of the whole.
I respect all moms, and I appreciate my parents for bearing and
It was so uncomfortable and burdensome. growing me. I’d like to say ‘I love you’ to my baby for making
me aware of that.
I expected to be naturally adapted to the title as ‘mom’, but it
